But if I say, “I will not mention His Word or speak anymore in His name,” His Word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in; indeed, I cannot. Jeremiah 20:9
From the very beginning, my obedience tended to be reluctant; but I was obedient nonetheless. Every single step seemed so huge, every new assignment so daunting, that I found myself contorted in my spirit, fighting fear and doubt. I even threw tantrums in my closet and pictured God chuckling as He patiently waited me out.
Not walking in step with God, though, is much more terrifying than taking that step forward into the unknown behind Him. And so, I go every time.
For the past three years after writing my first Bible study, Woe to Wow, I honestly wasn’t sure what His plans for me were. I didn’t know what to do with my writing but I trusted God to show me when He decided it was time. It’s hard to explain my passion and heart when it comes to Women’s Ministry. From Texas to Malawi to women online, I have such a strong desire for women to be transformed by Jesus and to see His Kingdom come among us. Deep down inside, I knew I would end up in full-time ministry someday, though I never quite knew how.
It’s easy for me to relate to Jeremiah having God’s Word like a fire in his bones. I’ve long given up on what I thought was the easy route – ignoring His call and living my life on the outskirts of my faith, over in the shallow waters. The inner push to venture further into more and more uncomfortable territory still feels intimidating at times but can I hold it in? Can I resist my Father’s call? Indeed, I cannot. And so, here we are.
I still have to silence the occasional whispers of doubt that enter my mind. But God is making it very clear that this isn’t about me at all. It’s about Him and His precious daughters who I am being called to serve by this ministry. Service to Christ’s Kingdom is so much bigger than any of us. Just as Jeremiah could no longer contain the fire in his bones, I can no longer contain my deep passion for Christ, His Word, and my sisters. The stirring in my heart these past years have turned into rumblings, which have turned into an eruption that is pouring out His love and His Spirit and, hopefully, reaches you!
God’s love and grace are unconditional. My obedience, however, is conditional – very conditional. I will go on the condition that He goes before me. I will speak on the condition that He provides the words. I will act on the condition that He equips me, guides me and instructs me every step of the way. And I will do nothing outside of His will. I follow Jesus, not my calling. I follow Jesus, not His purpose for me.
I am constantly reminded that through my obedience, I have the privilege of coming into contact with precious women like you. That alone is worth ignoring every doubt and discomfort.
I pray that as we journey in ministry together, that you too, will shed any reluctance and walk in bold obedience into your calling to serve our Almighty! I pray that, despite any doubts, you will take that step to serve Christ and His Kingdom. I pray that we can grow, rooted in Christ and flourishing together.
My dear sister, you have become my passion because you’ve always been His! This is going to be one fabulous ride, all the way to Glory!
Heavenly Father, thank You for bringing us together through this ministry. Lord, we need You so much as we grow in knowledge of You and seek to serve You. Strengthen us and guide us as we answer Your call. We are thankful that You go before us Lord! May we glorify You in all that we do today and always. There is no God but You and we are joyful to be Yours. Thank You for Your Word and Your love for us. In Jesus’ Precious Name, Amen.
Please let me know how I can be praying for you as you answer His call to serve Him. Let’s celebrate together the rewards of your obedience. Feel free to share your comments below!